Embrace What Makes You Unique!!!

I think we all go through times in our lives when we may not feel good about ourselves. I know for me personally that has been a major struggle in my life. I would get easily caught in the comparison trap. I would look at other females and think how they were 'better' than me. I would compare my life to theirs, my body to theirs, my job to theirs, and I would then beat myself up after comparing myself to others.

I got into this behavior after being in a relationship with someone who cheated on me. I didn't realize how being with someone who cheats can wear you down emotionally, until I got out of the relationship. I would spend HOURS wasting my time, looking at the images of the girls he was cheating on me with. I would compare myself to them, all the while slowly allowing the behavior to consume me. It chipped away at my self-confidence.

After I got out of the relationship, I started realizing how I was wasting my own energy on comparison instead of celebrating what makes me, ME! I used to spend so much time and energy thinking how could he have not wanted me and why did he do that. I knew I had to regain a sense of self I ALLOWED myself to let go of.

On my road to recovery from this toxic relationship and dealing with the aftermath of my own newly established toxic behaviors, I discovered this quote: "Comparison is the thief of joy."

I knew in my heart that this quote would help rescue me from my destructive pattern of comparing myself to others! When we compare ourselves to others, we aren't loving ourselves or celebrating our uniqueness. We are left sad and in a judgmental state. I went into a reflective state after I left the relationship with the cheater and I slowly, but surely found myself regaining myself once again.

I began by writing down every feeling and emotion on paper. This has brought me much healing and reflection in times when I have needed it most. I highly recommend anyone dealing with trauma to write. I had to learn to write without judgement. And by that I mean, write in a way that you just allow EVERY emotion and feeling and pain out of you, and onto paper.

I call it vomiting on paper because its not always pretty and sometimes doesn't make sense and sometimes my hand cant keep up with my brain so I scribble what I'm saying. After I write, I always feel relieved. I no longer am holding that pain inside. Often times I burn my writings and sometimes I keep them as reminders and for reflection.

Another way I healed myself, was by telling myself how proud I am of my own personal accomplishments and achievements. I write them down and I look in the mirror and tell myself good things about myself. It is true that how we treat ourselves, is how we will allow others to treat us as well. I have come to realize the power of self -respect.

I also realized by comparing myself to others, I was looking to see what was wrong with them to feel better about myself. This behavior bothered me. I always considered myself a nice person but I saw that by doing this I wasn't celebrating them either.

I found that by celebrating and acknowledging my fellow sisters, that I began to heal even more. I created this idea of them being my enemy because of my ex longing and lusting after other females. When in reality, they did nothing wrong to me. It was the trauma of being with a guy who cheated that I was living under that evil spell.

I love to compliment other women and to help them because I know I'm not the only one who has gone through relationship trauma. I have had many ex's abuse me, both physically and emotionally, all from which I am still recovering each and every day.

I also now take time each day to do things that feed my heart and soul. I found selfless giving to be a very powerful act that allows you to step outside of yourself and allows you to function from your heart. It always heals me to help. I set up clean ups, I find organizations I can help, and I volunteer my time and gifts. Whatever I can do to give from my heart, I do. This act is very healing.

I do things that inspire me to be creative! I dance, I sing, I write poems, I write songs, I make dreamcatchers, I write for my blog, I create recipes, I draw, I go outside, I do yoga, I do whatever activity that makes me feel alive and in the creative process!

I feel that in order to heal ourselves, we must begin by celebrating our uniqueness. Taking our talents and sharing them with the world. Sharing our stories for our own healing and for allowing those around us to heal. We must shine for each other.

I am grateful I went through a relationship that involved a cheater because ultimately it brought me to the place of awareness I am at now and I now can help others who go through the same thing!

Life gives you challenges to grow you and strengthen you and to carve you into the magnificent wonder you are meant to be! My heart to all of you going through challenges! Embrace yourself! LOVE YOURSELF!!!!!

Alright, go NOW!!!! Write down 20 things you love about yourself and why! I promise this will be the start of a more empowered you! HUGS! <3